Hope you have your drink (wine, coffee or tea) ready...
My positive journey has been... difficult. I am not a negative person as such, it is just very easy to let the actions of other affect you and make you feel like you are inferior or unintelligent. I have always been someone who has taken to heart, the words, actions or in some cases inaction of others. Those who know me (and I mean KNOW me well), know that I spend a disproportionate amount of time doing things to make others happy, worrying about what others think and giving. I don't have any regrets about my life, about decisions I've made, about things that have or have not happened.
I have, however made some decisions (after much reflection):
1. I am not going to be able to just switch off and become another person. I need to take small steps at a time. Forgive myself for slip ups and learn from them, allowing them to make me stronger.
2. I will only allow people to treat me the way my parents do. I figure that if two people that have shaped who I am today, treat me with respect, kindness and love, then noone else has the right to treat me any differently.
3. I am going to emotionally distance myself from people who make me feel less of a person or inferior.
4. I am not going to allow people to dictate the way that I raise my children or tell me that I am doing something wrong. I am not perfect, I have never raised children before, but I want to have happy, confident, kind, respectful and helpful children and THAT is how I will be raising them. Whether an action or inaction is perceived as wrong.
5. I will not compromise my values or beliefs just because people attempt to bully me into agreeing with them.
6. I will not be disresepectful, unkind or hateful, even if other are being so to me. I will just refer to Decision 3.
7. I will forgive people for their actions but I will not forget them. If they compromise who I am then I will again refer to Decision 3.
8. I will stand up for myself without compromising my value and belief system or Decision 6.
9. Probably the most important, I will not allow people to treat my husband or children in a way that I wouldn't treat them. They are the most important people in the world to me and while I cannot wrap them in bubble wrap, I will not allow them to love themselves any less than I do.
10. I will continue to work hard on my "mindset" journey.
These decisions have been about 15 years in the making. I finally have the guts (1/3 way into my life) to implement them. I know that these decisions seem like something that in life you should already be doing but to avoid conflict, to keep the peace and because it is against my nature (and WAY out of my comfort zone) I have compromised who I am, in so many different circumstances, simply, the time has come.
Miss B, Mrs B and Mrs F have been my inspiration for this. They are the strongest women I know. Yes, they have been kicked in the guts and we have shared many tears and lots of laughter but I am very fortunate to have amazing role models and friends. I surround myself with these incredibly strong in character women and I should have made this decision a long time ago. Mrs B, even sent me books of encouragement ( I should have got the hint then).